Before I talk about my dream i want to give a backstory. My former friend mariano and I were very close. We had been friends since I was 15 and him 17. We met in film class in high school. We were very close to the point that I considered him a brother. We would tell each other everything including secrets or if I was feeling low or needed to talk to someone. Everything was good until 2023 when he confessed feelings for me and sexual desire. I had to admit that the feelings were mutual but I could not go into a relationship with him. We were very flirty with each other but still kept the friendship aspect. I became obsessed with him. Late 2023 he starts dating his ex and completely ignores me for months. They break up and we become friends again but the friendship was not the same. He kept on asking me for sex but I did not want to have sex. I wanted our friendship to go back to normal but he wouldn't hang out with me. During the summer we hangout once and we kissed. We were going to arrange having sex but he stopped it because I wanted more than sex. He kept on avoiding me and I confronted him and we decided then to end our friendship. It was a tough decision. We were no contact for a while but he messaged me saying he wanted to have sex. I got mad and told me not to message me. He said he felt sorry for the way he treated me and would do anything to make up for his behavior. He would constantly message me asking for sex. I would say no. I drunk texted him once and i regret it. One day I almost agreed but he asked to not use protection but I said yes to protection. I told him I was scared he was going to remove the condom. We got into a huge fight and I ended all communication. I then find out he's had a girlfriend this whole time. He messaged me one more time drunk asking me if I'm okay. I told him to leave me alone. In the dream his sister is asking me to check on him desperately saying he's not doing well. I said I'm not interested but she insisted. I went to his room and his best friend who's also the brother of the girls he's dating is consoling him. Mariano is laying on his lap with a dead blank stare. He sees me and says he's missing me and wants our friendship back. In the dream I have sex with him but then leave in the morning and never talk to him again
Dreams often reflect our subconscious thoughts, feelings, and unresolved issues. Your dream about Mariano appears to encapsulate a multitude of emotions, including longing, regret, unresolved desire, and the harsh realities of a fractured friendship. Here’s a breakdown of the various elements and themes in your dream:
Your dream begins with Mariano's sister asking you to check on him, indicating a sense of responsibility. Often, family connections in dreams symbolize deeper feelings we hold for someone. This could reflect your own internal conflict; while you want to free yourself from the emotional burden of the friendship, there’s still a part of you that feels compelled to care, especially when you hear that he’s not doing well.
Entering Mariano's room could signify revisiting past memories and emotions associated with him. Rooms in dreams often represent our mental and emotional states. Mariano’s room could symbolize the intimate space you once shared, now marked by confusion and hurt.
Seeing him in a vulnerable position, “laying on his lap with a dead blank stare,” could represent your feelings of powerlessness regarding him. His emotional state may reflect your own sense of loss and longing for the past friendship you once had. The lack of expression suggests desperation or numbness, which may mirror how you felt during and after your falling out.
When he expresses missing you and wanting the friendship back, it highlights the unresolved feelings that linger on both sides. This may also represent your own conflicting feelings about wanting to reconnect versus recognizing the reasons why you felt the need to end the friendship.
Engaging in a sexual encounter in your dream could symbolize the complexities of your relationship, reflecting the tension between desire and the emotional connection you both once had. This act could also symbolize a momentary escape—alluding to your struggle between wanting closeness and knowing that such intimacy ultimately complicates things further.
Your decision to leave the morning after may illustrate a recurring desire to reclaim your autonomy and escape the emotional turmoil. Leaving may symbolize your longing to break free from the cycle of dependency and emotional turbulence that characterized your friendship.
The ultimate decision to never talk to him again at the end of the dream may represent your determination to move forward. This suggests an inner resolve to prioritize your well-being over a toxic relationship, even if there are lingering feelings of affection.
This dream encapsulates a tumultuous period in your life, filled with emotional highs and lows regarding your relationship with Mariano. While there are strong undertones of desire and longing for connection, there is also a clear assertion of self-preservation and boundaries. It may be helpful for you to reflect on the lessons this experience has taught you about friendship, boundaries, and emotional health. Keeping a journal or discussing your feelings with someone you trust could provide further clarity as you work through these complex emotions.